Hot Take: Burlap is The Worst.

Make it stop.

Make it stop.

I hate burlap.

There! I said it!

I have been holding that in for years.

I. HATE. BURLAP!

Oh my god I feel ten times lighter!!!

When I was a brand new wedding planner, my go-to strategy to get clients to like me was to like everything that they liked.

“I’ve never seen that before!” LIES! I see it every weekend!

And I draw the line at…BURLAP.

First of all, it is itchy. Second of all, it makes people sneeze. Third of all, it like…sheds?

It also kind of smells.

According to Wikipedia: Burlap LITERALLY means “coarse cloth.” Get it away from me before I breakout in a rash.

It has no right to be anywhere near a wedding unless you’re transporting coffee beans, sand, or making a rope of some kind. I did an extensive deep dive into Google (okay fine it was like 10 minutes) and could not find the person (I BET YOU $5 it was a wedding planner) responsible for this trend.

This is my opinion. If you’re my client and burlap sparks joy for you, I will not talk you out of it and will happily set it up for you AND make sure your photographer gets detail shots. You are my client, and it’s your wedding day.

BUT.

If you are decorating with burlap because it’s cost-effective, I will offer a FREE style consult to brainstorm some alternatives for equal or less money.

If you are decorating with burlap because Pinterest is shoving it down your throat, and you can’t think of another option for your country-chic, rustic, barn-adjacent wedding theme, I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU WRONG! FOR FREE.

If you are decorating with burlap because you couldn’t give less of a shit about this trivial wedding crap, let me give a shit for you. FOR FREE!

This is my truth and I will hide in the shadows no longer. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.